4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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