I wish I could punch you in the face.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
