Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
