i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
