I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
