omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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