she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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