Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
