Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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