If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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