it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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