is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
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and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
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I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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