Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
