At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
