If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
