The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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