She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize