i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
