there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
