If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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