If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
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She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
They are going to name an STD after you.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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