just tell him i said nine months
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
