i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
