Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
