I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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