So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
organizing the empties. That sober.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize