Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
