But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
