Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
