Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
