he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
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I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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