So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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