it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
