Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
