Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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