3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
