I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
