Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
