Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
