It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
