I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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