i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
he's single and there are thong briefs.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
