The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
