That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Sorry my hands just texted you
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
