Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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