Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
