Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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