Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
