Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
