I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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