dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dude i'm inner monologue high
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
