My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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