Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
