Cold hands, warm shart.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize