Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
