i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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