yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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