Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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