Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
