Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
