bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
