His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
