u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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