turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
