Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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