420 ftw
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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